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The science is in. Questions remain: If you are having sex with condoms do you need to disclose? If you decide to have sex without condoms what is required to ensure you are both safe? I oscillated between having HIV as part of my profile either openly or ambiguously , often attracting negative or patronising comments and some straight out blocking. If someone did tell me they were accepting of my status, I would ask them how the rest of their family might feel as I was openly living with HIV having chosen to educate to ensure no other woman received such a derailing diagnosis before settling down to have children.
This always changed their perspective and still does. But in this day and age, and considering where I live, online dating seemed like my only option and still is. I waited to disclose until we met face to face. For whatever reason, he was accepting of it and more than willing to go “all the way” with me but in the light of day, decided my HIV was too much for him to contend with.
I told him that if we were to proceed, he would need to get tested for everything that could be sexually transmitted before I would consider letting him come near me. We hung out to see if there was any attraction and decided we would give it a go. Ironically enough, when it came time to perform the deed so to speak, I stopped him in the heat of the moment. We got together one more time then decided to not take it any further after which I had a full STI check-up ready to ensure I was healthy and good to go.
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